Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
