By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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