I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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