i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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