oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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