I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
