she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
