I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
