I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
so much tequila, so little girl.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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