they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
