How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't put those talents on a resume
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
