Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
