just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
