It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
