If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
