hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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