he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
