Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
