so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
