Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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