i think my tv is drunk
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
