Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
