As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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