i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
