I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
