Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize