Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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