And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
