quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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