I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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