Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
