; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
