This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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