so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
