im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
