He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
