Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
