very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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