I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Found the puke drawer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
