was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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