she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
