Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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