if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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