Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
