She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
