3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
