How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
