I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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