Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize