I have demons in me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
