You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
only if we run a train.
done.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
