just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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