Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
