Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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