and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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