we're blogging at a bar
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
