Pappa wants mamma naked
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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