Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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