suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
