Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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