Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
