Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize