My hand turned me down
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
