Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
