Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
