I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
