The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
