love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
