some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
