She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
