oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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