so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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