His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
