im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your cock deserves a montage
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
