I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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