I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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