I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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